Friday 20 November 2009

Live toenail surgery

You join me as the needle goes into the toe. A slight sting, like an annoyed junior wasp has been around and then I chat with fiona (podiatrist) whilst my toe numbs to form a sort of swollen sausage.

Five minutes on and it needs more injection, because my toe is so massive apparantly (i feel pleased to know that). Fiona says I could have up to eight more if needed.

Numb now and scalpel going in. Pressure but nowt else. It's basically a big incision down one side and then tugging. Alesha Dixon's The Boy Does Nothing comes on, I'd toe tap if I could.

"that's not good news" fiona says, and is back in to find a rogue bit of nail. Ah, all sorted now.

In with the Phenol, which chemically burns the nail away at the root. Much cotton bud action.

Halfway done, just taken a pic and posted to facebook.

Part two is much the same, no fiddly nail this time and it's right out. God that nail was as long as a chipstick.

More phenol cotton bud fun and were on the home leg. I didn't even mean that pun.

Lots of blood as the tourniquet comes off and first dressing on. Fiona kindly bottles up the nails for me to take home. I'll get a nice dip to go with those.

Bleeding has calmed and Fiona is happy. Now the real pain, the £250 bill. Which I have to foot. Bwah ha ha.

Right. Recovering now and all seems good. That was fun.

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